Where Food Industry Leaders Are Made – One Habit at a Time!

🎯 Quick – Timely – Impactful Lessons of Leadership

🪑 The Leadership Table Monday, March 09, 2026 | A Student of Leadership

A personal note to kick things off...

After a lot of reflection, I'm consolidating everything into one place where I can go deeper with you. Starting in April, The Leadership Table lives exclusively on Substack.

Don't wait until the move, come find me there now.

👉 [Join me on Substack]

We've got a few weeks left here. Make the jump whenever you're ready.

— Robert

Your intention is to help. Their experience is that you don't trust them. Your intention is to challenge. Their experience is that you're criticizing. Your intention is to care. Their experience is that you're controlling. The gap between what you mean and how they receive it is where leadership breaks down.

When Good Intentions Create Bad Impact

I watched a talented leader destroy team morale while genuinely believing she was helping them succeed. Her name was Jennifer, and she was one of the most well-intentioned leaders I've known. She cared deeply about her team. She wanted them to develop. She invested time in their growth. She gave constant feedback. She stayed involved in their projects to ensure quality.

And her team was miserable. Turnover was high. Engagement scores were low. Exit interviews revealed a consistent theme: people felt micromanaged, criticized, and untrusted.

When I shared this feedback with Jennifer, she was genuinely shocked. "But I care about them. Everything I do is to help them succeed. How can they think I don't trust them when I'm literally trying to develop them?"

And there it was. The fundamental gap that derails so many good leaders. She was measuring her leadership by her intentions. Her team was experiencing her leadership through its impact. And those two things were completely different.

Jennifer's intention: "I stay closely involved because I care about their development and want to help them succeed."

Team's experience: "She doesn't trust us to do anything without her oversight. We can't make a decision without her approval. She's always looking over our shoulder."

Same behavior. Opposite interpretation. And the interpretation, not the intention, determines the impact.

Why Intentions Don't Matter (As Much As You Think They Do)

Here's the hard truth about leadership: Your intentions are invisible. Only you know them. What your team experiences is your behavior. And they interpret that behavior based on their context, their history, their assumptions, not based on what you meant.

When you give frequent feedback because you care about development, some people experience support and coaching. Others experience constant criticism and impossibly high standards. Same intention, different impact, because people filter your behavior through their own lens.

When you stay involved in details because you want to ensure quality, some people experience engaged leadership. Others experience micromanagement and lack of trust. Same intention, different impact.

When you push people to stretch because you believe in their potential, some people experience challenge and growth. Others experience pressure and unrealistic expectations. Same intention, different impact.

And here's the part that's really difficult for well-intentioned leaders to accept: You don't get to decide which interpretation is "right." The impact is what they experience, regardless of what you intended. And if the impact is negative, saying "but I meant well" doesn't undo the damage.

Research from organizational psychology confirms this. A 2024 study on leadership effectiveness found that leader intention explained less than fifteen percent of the variance in team outcomes. What mattered far more was the team's perception of leader behavior. Not what the leader meant to do, but how the team experienced what the leader actually did.

The Four Most Common Intention-Impact Gaps

In my work with foodservice leaders, I see four intention-impact gaps show up repeatedly. Each one feels completely reasonable from the leader's perspective. Each one creates negative impact that the leader never intended.

1. Care Becomes Control

Your intention: I care about this project's success, so I'm staying closely involved to make sure it goes well and to help if they need support.

Their experience: You don't trust me to handle this. You're checking every detail. You're undermining my authority by being so involved. I feel like I'm being managed like an intern instead of trusted like a professional.

This is the most common gap I see. Leaders who genuinely care stay too close, ask too many questions, get too involved. They're motivated by care and support. The team experiences surveillance and lack of trust.

Jennifer fell into this pattern constantly. She'd check in on projects multiple times a day. She'd ask detailed questions about implementation. She'd offer suggestions on things they'd already figured out. Every action came from genuine care. Every action communicated that she didn't think they could handle it without her.

2. Challenge Becomes Criticism

Your intention: I'm pushing you because I believe in your potential and want you to grow. High expectations are a sign of respect.

Their experience: Nothing I do is ever good enough. You always find what's wrong. I feel like I'm constantly failing your standards. Your "high expectations" feel like constant criticism.

This gap shows up with leaders who hold genuinely high standards because they care about excellence. They give feedback frequently because they want people to improve. They point out gaps because they see potential.

But if every interaction is about what needs to improve, with little acknowledgment of what's working, people experience criticism, not challenge. They feel like they're never meeting expectations rather than being pushed to grow.

The intention is development. The impact is demoralization.

3. Efficiency Becomes Dismissiveness

Your intention: I value your time, so I'm being direct and efficient in our conversations. I don't want to waste time with unnecessary small talk or lengthy explanations when we both have work to do.

Their experience: You don't care about me as a person. You're always rushing through conversations. You cut me off mid-sentence. You're clearly just checking the box on our one-on-ones rather than actually engaging.

This gap is common with leaders who are extremely task-focused and value efficiency. They move fast, get to the point, make decisions quickly. From their perspective, this is respect for everyone's time.

From their team's perspective, it feels dismissive. Like the leader doesn't care about them beyond their productivity. Like they're interruptions rather than relationships.

The intention is efficiency. The impact is disengagement.

4. Independence Becomes Abandonment

Your intention: I trust you to handle this, so I'm giving you autonomy. I'm not going to micromanage or hover. You have the authority to make decisions without my approval.

Their experience: You don't care about this project or about supporting me. You've thrown me into something I'm not ready for without adequate support. I feel abandoned rather than empowered.

This is the opposite of the care-becomes-control gap, but equally damaging. Leaders who value autonomy step back to give people space. Sometimes that space is empowering. Sometimes it's abandonment.

The difference depends on context. How prepared is the person for this level of autonomy? Have you provided adequate support and resources? Have you made it clear that stepping back doesn't mean stepping away?

If you give autonomy to someone who needs more support, they don't experience trust. They experience being set up to fail without help.

The intention is empowerment. The impact is abandonment.

The Framework: Closing the Gap

So how do you close the gap between your intentions and your impact? Not by trying harder to communicate your intentions, that rarely works. By systematically understanding the impact you're actually having and adjusting your behavior to create the impact you want.

STEP 1: ASK ABOUT IMPACT, NOT INTENTION

The question "Do you understand what I'm trying to do?" is asking about intention. It's asking if they understand what you mean.

Better question: "How are you experiencing my leadership? What impact is my approach having on you?"

This asks about their actual experience, not their understanding of your intention. And their experience is what determines the impact.

Jennifer started asking her team members: "When I check in frequently on your projects, how does that affect your work? What impact does that have on how you approach things?"

The answers were revealing. One person said, "It makes me second-guess every decision because I know you're going to ask about it, so I'm constantly wondering if I'm doing what you'd want instead of just doing what I think is right."

Another said, "Honestly, it makes me feel like you don't think I'm capable. Like you're always looking over my shoulder waiting for me to mess up."

That wasn't Jennifer's intention. But it was the impact. And she couldn't change the impact until she understood it.

Ask about impact. Listen to their actual experience. Don't defend your intention. Just listen and learn.

STEP 2: NAME THE INTENTION EXPLICITLY

Since your intentions are invisible, you have to make them visible through words. Don't assume people know what you mean. Tell them.

Instead of just staying closely involved (which they might interpret as lack of trust), name your intention: "I want to stay connected to this project because I care about your success and want to make sure you have support if you need it. I'm not checking up on you because I don't trust you. I'm checking in because I care. But I also want to make sure my involvement is helpful, not intrusive. How would you like me to stay connected?"

Instead of just pushing people hard (which they might interpret as constant criticism), name your intention: "I'm giving you a lot of feedback because I see real potential in you and I want to help you develop. I realize this might feel like a lot. How are you experiencing it?"

Instead of just being efficient (which they might interpret as dismissiveness), name your intention: "I tend to move fast through conversations because I value your time. But I also want to make sure you feel heard and supported. Am I rushing through things in a way that makes you feel like I don't care?"

Instead of just giving autonomy (which they might interpret as abandonment), name your intention: "I'm giving you a lot of space on this because I trust you to figure it out. But I want to make sure you have the support you need. What would be most helpful from me?"

Naming your intention doesn't guarantee the right impact, but it creates context for your behavior that people might not otherwise have.

STEP 3: ADJUST BEHAVIOR BASED ON IMPACT

This is the step most leaders resist. Because it requires changing your behavior even when your intention is good.

If your intention is to help through close involvement, but the impact is that people feel micromanaged, the answer isn't to explain your intention more clearly. The answer is to adjust your involvement.

If your intention is to develop through high standards, but the impact is that people feel constantly criticized, the answer isn't to lower your standards. The answer is to balance feedback about gaps with recognition of strengths.

If your intention is to respect people's time through efficiency, but the impact is that people feel dismissed, the answer isn't to explain that you value efficiency. The answer is to slow down enough for people to feel heard.

If your intention is to empower through autonomy, but the impact is that people feel abandoned, the answer isn't to explain that you trust them. The answer is to provide more support while still giving them ownership.

This is hard because it requires changing behavior you think is right. But leadership effectiveness isn't about doing what feels right to you. It's about creating the impact your team needs.

Jennifer had to fundamentally change her approach. She still cared deeply. She still wanted to help. But instead of staying closely involved in everything, she asked each person what level of involvement would be most helpful to them. Some wanted weekly check-ins. Some wanted monthly. Some wanted to come to her when they needed her, not have her come to them on a schedule.

Same intention. Completely different behavior. And completely different impact.

STEP 4: SEEK FEEDBACK ON THE GAP REGULARLY

The intention-impact gap isn't something you close once. It's something you monitor continuously, because what creates positive impact changes as people develop, as contexts shift, as relationships evolve.

Build a regular practice of asking about the gap. Not just in annual reviews, but in monthly one-on-ones.

"What's one thing I'm doing that's helpful to your development?"
"What's one thing I'm doing that's getting in the way?"
"How are you experiencing my leadership right now?"
"What impact is my approach having on your work?"

These questions make impact visible before it becomes a problem. They create space for people to tell you when your well-intentioned behavior is creating unintended consequences.

And they signal that you care more about the impact you're having than about defending the purity of your intentions.

What Happened with Jennifer

It took Jennifer about six months to really shift. Not because she was resistant, she immediately wanted to change when she understood the impact. But because the behavior was so automatic. Staying closely involved was how she showed care. She had to learn new ways to demonstrate care that didn't feel like control.

She started asking each team member how they wanted her involved. She stopped assuming that her preferred level of engagement was right for everyone. She learned to trust people's assessment of what they needed instead of imposing her own judgment of what would help.

And slowly, the team dynamics shifted. People started taking more ownership. They made decisions without waiting for her approval. They came to her when they needed her instead of having her always coming to them. They felt trusted instead of monitored.

A year later, Jennifer's engagement scores had completely reversed. Same team. Same leader. Same deep care. Completely different impact. Because she learned to measure her leadership by its impact, not by her intentions.

This Week's Practice: Impact Audit

30-MINUTE EXERCISE

Part 1: Identify Your Intentions (10 minutes)

Write down three leadership behaviors you consistently do and why you do them. What's your intention?

Examples:
• "I stay closely involved in major projects because I want to support success and catch issues early."
• "I give frequent feedback because I want to help people develop and improve."
• "I move quickly through decisions because I want to keep things moving and not waste time."

Be honest about what you're trying to achieve through these behaviors.

Part 2: Ask About Impact (10 minutes)

For each behavior, ask 2-3 people on your team: "When I do [behavior], how does that affect your work? What impact does that have on you?"

Don't defend your intention. Don't explain what you meant. Just listen to their experience of the impact.

Write down what they say. Verbatim if possible.

Part 3: Identify the Gap and Adjust (10 minutes)

Look at your intentions and their experiences. Where's the gap?

For each gap, ask: What would I need to do differently to create the impact I intend rather than the unintended impact I'm currently creating?

Pick one behavior to adjust this week. Make it specific.

Example: Instead of checking in on projects twice daily (which feels like micromanagement), ask each person how often they'd like me to check in and let them set the frequency.

Then tell your team what you're changing and why. "I realized my frequent check-ins are making you feel micromanaged, which wasn't my intention. I care about supporting you, but I want to do it in a way that feels supportive rather than intrusive. So I'm changing my approach to [new behavior]. Let me know if this works better."

The Deeper Truth

Here's what I've learned about the intention-impact gap after thirty years: Good intentions are necessary but not sufficient for good leadership. You need to care. You need to mean well. But you also need to create the impact you intend, not just mean to create it.

And that requires something counterintuitive: Caring less about defending your intentions and caring more about understanding your impact.

When someone tells you that your helpful involvement feels like micromanagement, the question isn't "Don't you understand I'm trying to help?" The question is "How can I help in a way that feels supportive rather than controlling?"

When someone tells you that your high standards feel like constant criticism, the question isn't "Don't you understand I believe in your potential?" The question is "How can I push you to grow in a way that feels like challenge rather than criticism?"

Your intentions matter. But your impact matters more. Because impact is what people experience. And experience is what shapes engagement, trust, development, and results.

Measure your leadership by its impact. Adjust your behavior to create the impact you intend. Ask about the gap regularly. Be willing to change even when your intentions are good.

That's how good leaders become great ones. Not by meaning well. By creating the impact they mean to create.

🪑 From the Leadership Table

Deep frameworks for building leadership that lasts. Every Monday, one comprehensive exploration of the capabilities that separate good leaders from great ones.

By Robert Adams • 30+ Years in Foodservice Leadership • EVP, UniPro Foodservice • Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coach

🎧 LISTEN INSTEAD

A Student of Leadership Micro Podcast

Powered by UniPro Foodservice.

📬 SUBSCRIBE TO ALL THREE NEWSLETTERS

Monday: The Leadership Table (Deep frameworks)

Wednesday: Breaking Bread (Daily practices)

Friday: The Mindful Leader (Weekend reflection)

Same weekly theme. Three distinct approaches. Real leadership growth.