Why Feedback Fails (And What Top Leaders Do Instead)

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🔮 Feedforward: The Future of Leadership Development

When Looking Backward Keeps You Stuck

You sit across from your District Manager. She's talented. Driven. But she keeps micromanaging her team.

You've given her feedback. Three times this quarter alone.

"You need to delegate more."

"Your team needs autonomy."

"Stop checking every order twice."

She nods. Takes notes. Promises to change.

Two weeks later, she's doing it again.

Here's what 30 years in food distribution taught me: Feedback doesn't change behavior. It explains why someone's stuck.

But explaining why someone's stuck doesn't get them unstuck.

🥖 Opening Bite

In 2002, Marshall Goldsmith - my coaching mentor and one of the world's top executive coaches - was working with a roomful of high-performing leaders.

He asked them a simple question: "How many of you have received feedback that made you feel energized about changing?"

Almost no hands.

"How many have received feedback that made you feel defensive, guilty, or judged?"

Every hand in the room.

That's when Goldsmith developed Feedforward - a methodology that doesn't look backward at what went wrong. It looks forward at what could be better.

As a Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coach, I've seen this approach transform leaders in ways traditional feedback never could. Not because it's kinder. Because it's behavioral.

In the food industry, where margins are tight and mistakes are costly, we can't afford leadership development that feels good but changes nothing. We need approaches that create measurable behavioral change. 

And that's exactly what Feedforward does.

According to Goldsmith's research across thousands of leaders, participants who use the Feedforward process show significant improvement in leadership effectiveness within 12-18 months. The methodology focuses on future possibilities rather than past mistakes, making it dramatically more effective than traditional feedback 

The food industry is particularly resistant to feedback. Why? Because in operations-driven environments, "feedback" usually means "here's what you screwed up."

Distribution VPs hear it from suppliers about late payments.

Restaurant managers hear it from corporate about labor costs.

Sales directors hear it from customers about service failures.

By the time someone sits down to give "developmental feedback," we're already armored up.

But Feedforward bypasses all that. Because you can't be defensive about something that hasn't happened yet.

🔥 From the Kitchen

I learned the difference between feedback and Feedforward the hard way.

Early in my career as a District Sales Manager, I had a rep who consistently lost deals in the final stages. Great relationship builder. Terrible closer.

I gave him feedback: "You're not asking for the commitment. You let customers delay decisions. You need to be more assertive."

He agreed. Committed to change. Nothing happened.

Six months later, same pattern. More feedback. More agreement. More nothing.

Then I learned about Feedforward from Marshall Goldsmith's work. Instead of another feedback conversation, I tried something different:

"Forget about the deals you lost. Let's talk about your next big opportunity. What's one thing you could do differently in that final meeting to increase the likelihood of closing?"

He thought for a moment. "I could bring a commitment document to the meeting instead of promising to send it later."

"What else?"

"I could schedule a specific follow-up call before leaving, rather than saying 'I'll be in touch.'"

Notice what happened? No defensiveness. No excuses. No rehashing the past. Just practical ideas about future behavior.

Within 90 days, his close rate improved by 40%.

Not because he suddenly became more confident. Not because he overcame some deep psychological block.

Because he had specific, forward-focused behaviors to execute.

That's the power of behavioral leadership. It focuses on what you're going to do, not why you didn't do it before.

The CRA Admired Leadership research backs this up. They've identified that the most effective leadership development interventions focus on specific, observable behaviors rather than personality traits or past performance. Their studies show that leaders who work on 2-3 specific behavioral changes show measurably better results than those who receive comprehensive feedback on 10+ areas.

Why? Because behavior change requires focus. And focus requires looking forward, not backward.

🍽️ The Recipe

THE FEEDFORWARD FRAMEWORK FOR FOOD INDUSTRY LEADERS

Traditional feedback asks: "What did you do wrong, and why?"

Feedforward asks: "What will you do differently next time, and how?"

Here's the complete framework I use with leaders, adapted from Marshall Goldsmith's Stakeholder Centered Coaching methodology for the unique challenges of food industry leadership.

STEP 1: IDENTIFY THE BEHAVIOR TO IMPROVE

Not "be a better leader." Not "communicate more effectively."

Specific. Observable. Behavioral.

Examples from food industry leaders I've coached:

- "Follow up within 24 hours when someone asks me a question"

- "Walk the warehouse floor twice a week without my phone"

- "Make eye contact when team members are speaking to me"

- "Stop checking email during one-on-ones"

- "Ask 'What do you think?' before giving my opinion"

Notice these are all ACTIONS. Things you can observe. Things you can measure.

STEP 2: IDENTIFY YOUR STAKEHOLDERS

Who will notice if you change this behavior?

In Stakeholder Centered Coaching, we typically identify 5-10 key people who:

- Interact with you regularly

- Would benefit from your behavioral change

- Can observe whether you're actually changing

- Will give you honest input

For food industry leaders, this typically includes:

- Direct reports

- Peers in other departments

- Your immediate supervisor

- Key customers or suppliers

- Cross-functional partners (operations, finance, sales, etc.)

STEP 3: ASK FOR FEEDFORWARD

This is where it gets powerful. You approach each stakeholder with this exact script:

"I'm working on [specific behavior]. I want to get better at this. Can you give me two suggestions for the future that might help me improve in this area?"

Critical rules:

- You CANNOT talk about the past

- You CANNOT defend your current behavior

- You CANNOT explain why you do what you do

- You CAN ONLY listen, take notes, and say "thank you" 

This is harder than it sounds. Especially for food industry leaders who are used to defending decisions, explaining constraints, and justifying actions.

But here's the magic: When you don't defend yourself, people give you their best thinking.

STEP 4: IMPLEMENT & FOLLOW UP

Pick 1-2 suggestions that resonate. Try them immediately.

Then - and this is the Stakeholder Centered Coaching difference - you follow up monthly with those same stakeholders:

"I'm still working on [behavior]. On a scale of -3 to +3, am I getting better, staying the same, or getting worse?"

The scale matters:

- +3: Much better

- +2: Better

- +1: A little better

- 0: No change

- -1: A little worse

- -2: Worse

- -3: Much worse

You're not asking for feedback. You're asking for measurement of behavioral change.

STEP 5: REPEAT MONTHLY FOR 12-18 MONTHS

Leadership development isn't an event. It's a practice.

The research from both Marshall Goldsmith and CRA Admired Leadership is clear: Leaders who engage in this monthly follow-up process show significant improvement. Leaders who don't... don't.

Your stakeholders don't need to give you more suggestions. They just need to tell you if you're improving.

And here's what happens: When people know you're serious about changing (because you keep asking), they start supporting your change. They remind you when you slip. They notice when you improve. They become invested in your success. 

🥘 From the Line

Let me give you a real food industry example of how powerful this is.

One of my colleagues, a Division President, was known for having all the answers. Brilliant operator. Deep technical knowledge. But his team stopped bringing him problems because he'd immediately tell them what to do.

Innovation suffered. Development stalled. His best people started looking elsewhere.

We worked together on a single behavioral change: "Ask at least two questions before giving my opinion in any meeting."

Simple. Observable. Measurable.

He identified eight stakeholders: his leadership team, two peers, his boss, and three key operational managers.

He asked each one: "I'm working on asking more questions before jumping to solutions. Can you give me two suggestions for how I might do this more effectively?"

The suggestions were gold:

"Start meetings by explicitly saying you want to hear everyone's thinking first."

"When someone brings you a problem, ask 'What solutions have you already considered?' before responding."

"Keep a notepad visible during meetings and visibly write down questions before speaking."

"Use the phrase 'Help me understand...' to signal you're in listening mode."

"Count to five in your head after someone stops talking before you respond."

He picked three of these ideas and started implementing them immediately.

Every month for the next year, he sent a simple email to his eight stakeholders:

"Still working on asking questions before giving answers. On a scale of -3 to +3, am I doing better, same, or worse this month?"

The results after 12 months:

- Average improvement score: +2.3

- His team's engagement scores increased 31%

- Three major process innovations came from frontline managers

- Zero voluntary turnover on his leadership team

- He got promoted

Here's what he told me six months in: "I thought this was about asking more questions. But what actually changed was that my team started trusting me with harder problems. Because they knew I wouldn't hijack their solution."

That's behavioral leadership. One specific change. Consistently applied. Independently measured.

🍷 Plated: Why Feedback Keeps Failing

Let's be honest about traditional feedback in the food industry.

Performance reviews: Once a year, we sit down and tell people what they did well and where they need to improve. They nod. Sign the form. Nothing changes.

360 assessments: We collect feedback from everyone around someone. Generate a 40-page report. They read it, feel overwhelmed or defensive, and focus on the 2 negative comments instead of the 38 positive ones.

Constructive criticism: We tell someone what they're doing wrong and expect them to figure out what to do instead.

Why doesn't this work?

 Because feedback focuses on the past. And you can't change the past.

You can only change the future.

According to research by Goldsmith and his colleagues, traditional feedback typically triggers one of three responses:

1. Defensiveness ("That's not true / You don't understand the situation")

2. Deflection ("Yes, but what about when X happened...")

3. Depression ("I'm terrible at this / I'll never get better")

None of these states produce behavioral change.

Feedforward, by contrast, triggers curiosity: "Huh. I wonder if that would work?"

The CRA Admired Leadership research identified this as the "learner mindset" - when leaders approach development with curiosity rather than judgment, they're 3x more likely to sustain behavioral change.

And in the food industry, where the pace is relentless and the stakes are high, we don't have time for approaches that don't work.

We need leadership development that's:

✅ Fast (doesn't require extensive training)

✅ Practical (produces specific actions)

✅ Measurable (shows clear improvement)

✅ Sustainable (works in high-pressure environments)

Feedforward checks every box.

🧂 Season to Taste

Before you move into your week, sit with these questions:

1. What's one behavior you want to improve as a leader?

Be specific. Not "communicate better." Something like:

- "Respond to emails within 24 hours"

- "Make eye contact during conversations"

- "Ask for input before giving my opinion"

- "Follow up on commitments without being reminded"

Write it down. Make it observable.

2. Who are 5-7 people who would notice if you changed this behavior?

Your direct reports? Your boss? Your peers? Cross-functional partners? Customers?

List their names. These are your stakeholders.

3. What's stopping you from asking them for Feedforward this week?

Be honest. Is it:

- Fear they'll think you're weak?

- Concern they'll tell you things you don't want to hear?

- Belief you should already know what to do?

- Worry it will take too much time?

 Notice that. Then ask anyway.

Because leadership development doesn't happen in private. It happens in relationships.

🔪 This Week's Prep

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: The Feedforward Experiment

Pick ONE behavior to improve. Just one.

Identify 5 stakeholders who interact with you regularly.

Send them this exact message (adapt the behavior to yours):

"Quick question: I'm working on [specific behavior I want to improve]. I want to get better at this. Would you be willing to give me two suggestions for the future that might help me improve? No need to discuss the past - just ideas about what I might do differently going forward. Can we talk for 10 minutes this week?"

Then:

1. Listen without defending

2. Take notes

3. Say "thank you"

4. Pick 1-2 suggestions to try immediately

5. Follow up with them next month with the -3 to +3 scale

That's it. Don't overcomplicate it. 

💡 IMPORTANT: This only works if you actually follow up monthly. Put it on your calendar now. First Monday of every month for the next 12 months: "Send Feedforward check-in to stakeholders." 

This is how real leadership development happens. Not in seminars. Not in books. In daily practice with people who see you lead. 

📚 Go Deeper

Want the complete methodology? Check out these resources:

"What Got You Here Won't Get You There" by Marshall Goldsmith

The book that introduced Feedforward to the world. Essential reading for any leader serious about behavioral change.

"Triggers" by Marshall Goldsmith

Goes deeper into why behavior change is hard and provides the daily disciplines that make it stick.

CRA's Admired Leadership Framework

Visit admiredleadership.com to explore their behavioral competency research and how it applies to sustainable leadership development.

🔗 This Week's Cross-References

Struggling with the vulnerability required to ask for Feedforward? Wednesday's Breaking Bread newsletter explores why "I don't know" might be your most powerful leadership phrase.

Want to understand what your team sees that you don't? Friday's Mindful Leader dives into the Leadership Shadow - the unconscious behaviors that shape your culture.

💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Question for you: What's the one behavior you're committing to improve using Feedforward?

Share in the comments. Let's learn from each other's commitments.

And if you've used Feedforward before, tell us: What worked? What was hard? What changed?

New here? Hit subscribe and join leaders who choose behavioral change over empty promises. (It's free, and you can unsubscribe anytime.)

Found this valuable? Forward it to one leader who's stuck in the feedback trap.

📧 What's Coming Next Week

The theme: Trust & Psychological Safety

Research shows it's the #1 factor in high-performing teams. Yet only 60% of employees feel their leaders trust them. We're fixing that.

Monday (The Leadership Table): How to Build Trust in High-Stakes Food Industry Environments 

Wednesday (Breaking Bread): The 3-Minute Daily Practice That Rebuilds Broken Trust

Friday (The Mindful Leader): Creating Psychological Safety When Everything Feels Urgent

See you Wednesday for a radical idea: Saying "I don't know" might be the smartest thing you do all week.

🎧 LISTEN INSTEAD OF READ

Catch my A Student of Leadership Micro Podcast for quick, behavioral leadership insights in 6-8 minutes. This week: "The Question That Changes Everything" - exploring how Feedforward transforms leadership conversations.

Think of it as your daily leadership vitamin: quick, potent, essential.

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